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we'll be able to tell, based on the breakage,
he's sad, I think he's happy to get off this merry-go-round.
-Right. -Like, we were going down a road
Cosmo-fall-itan?
to a whole new way of life:
social media... it's a lie.
of all his father issues, and 'cause he's an alcoholic,
You don't know what this sicko kid has done.
we feel as though we should get involved,
-Where's my melon? Where's my casaba? -Oh...
Don't put your hands near my casaba.
We're just gonna pull up Bryan O'Brien's social media page,
Damn it.
-it's, like, a rat's egg or something. -(coughs)
would he jump, would he do it at all?
You don't have business.
-I feel so sad. Life is so..." -Oh, yeah. -Oh.
-Right. -Oh. There you go.
You know, because we all know that on the surface,
I think we all were, Mac. We were hoping
A man by the name of Bryan O'Brien
to die and that it would actually benefit our bar
-Yeah. -It's good. It's...
We'll have an answer for you on that real soon.
-the jumper is coming down. -Oh.
(laughs) "Bryan O'Brien."
Not that I am banging it, but I could.
Right. Well, the police are handling it,
Speaking of melons, there's a casaba
uh, she probably broke up with him, you know, because
Plus, he gave him a comical name, like Mac's dad did.
Now, guys, we are living in a data-driven world, are we not?
to keep this man from committing suicide
Okay? We just need to think like a computer.
You guys know what this means, right?
we feel as though we should save this guy,
I hear you're the father.
He's threatening to jump.