HOT
APP
STORIES
QUIZZES
DISCOVER
MEMES
EMOJI
More
CREATE STORIES
DAILY
DISCOVER
PHRASES
NUDGE CLIPS
CONTENT REQUEST
LOGIN
HOT
APP
STORIES
QUIZZES
MEMES
EMOJI
STORY
DAILY
PHRASES
DISCOVER
NUDGE CLIPS
REQUEST CONTENT
×
Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
have you heard this term
I used so much saccharin, I developed artificial diabetes.
I can find my own place.
but the shutters will do for now.
That ought to be entertaining.
FRANK SINATRA: ♪ How are ya fixed for moonlight? ♪
I swear. I have no idea when my parents are coming back.
-(laughter) -So close, and then he shows up.
Aha. There he is.
-Can I...? -This comedian has the same name as you.
male virility enhancement ad,
The tenants just moved out,
It's midnight on a Tuesday
We could fit eight comfortably, ten with a leaf.
(laughter and cheering)
It was just a terrific, terrific day.
We have to go home.
What is she doing with my book?
Joel decided to find me an apartment.
-Uh-uh. -(laughter and applause)
Madge or Marjorie, something like that.
-What did I do wrong? -Nothing, Ma. Relax.
And hot water, we'll have to get used to hot water again.
to be told the truth, too delicate to confide in.
Where are you gonna live, huh?
-Archie. -Who told Archie?
Rose, where are you taking me?
That was a great chart.
the Village Voice, just perusing the headlines,
-"Yeah, you do seem guilty." -(laughter)
And when the guy took one look at this book,
I do not believe in fairy tales. I'm a man of science.
He's just super warming the place up for you.
-What am I doing here? -I just mean...
A club with booze and everything.
-You thinking what I'm thinking? -Yup.
I will connect you.
They all have wives and girlfriends.
at this very minute,
-For me? -And Ethan and Esther.
Jankel will be here Friday before 1:00.
and it's right off three subways.
♪ Her parents had gone ♪
True story.
-We're gonna buy the building. -Ah!
It is. But, Susie, promise, just check with me
-Well, it is just a ball. -No, the apartment.
Au revoir, messieurs.
What life?
Listen, I want you to talk to Uncle Moe.
-Are they dog friendly? -They're dog friendly.
Well, at least you're not wearing the same outfit.
-That's you. -It's...
came up to you at a bar in his big-boy suit,
-NOAH: ...money and a hand job. -(laughter)
For what?
♪ ♪
-"child bearing hips"? -(laughter)
Joey Parker!
("Artificial Flowers" by Bobby Darin playing)
Look, I should get back to Susie,
until the vanilla muffin waltzed in here
-Midge is my wife. -Not anymore.
I have you down for an eight-minute slot.
Oh, yes, Sergei's an idiot.
-Nobody's working. -Yes, it's a graveyard.
-then I can tell you where you're gonna live. -Midge.
Plan to laugh at something the guy next to you says
Here comes one, with Andy Griffith bringing it in.
and when people come to see you, you become--
I want to go home.
Susie Myerson. I'm her manager.
Oh, monsieur Weissman.
-It wasn't really full. -A lot of them had left already.
and it's not news I'd like to break long-distance.
(bell dings)
-Ooh, yes. -(snaps fingers)
Every single freeloader around here, gone.
She says she knows you from the club.
Fill her up! You sure you don't...?
I sweat a little before I go on,
You got the crazy from your mother.
I'm back until things are straightened out,
where we could throw her little ball.
♪ For a sack of gold ♪
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you.
-Look, look, I'm locked out. -What's happening?