Earthquake - Modern Family [S02E03]

- Did you listen to your mother? - No. God, no.

But, you know, I had a reason. That woman was a psycho control... freak.

Pressure builds, and it's released.

What's the hot topic on The View today, ladies?

Oh, honey, don't go to any trouble. I'll just have a Kir Royale.

- Who's a mob wife? - I'm a mob wife.

- Thank God. Oh, thank God. Thank God. Thank God. - Go.

There's nothing mystical about an earthquake.

Please don't tell on me.

And you just hope there's not too much damage.

Okay. You know what? Just for that, you are grounded one week.

- Bill "Bojangles" Robinson. - Bill "Bojangles" Robinson! I said it first.

You know what you are? You're like a mob wife.

You're never alone when you have books.

Girls were a piece of cake. It was the boy.

Then it hit me why this kid drove me so crazy...

I'm gonna go ahead and just take off the doorknob, okay?

But it makes you realize what matters. And for me, that's my family.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You're not going to that party, young lady.

- I've had four of 'em. - God.

I wanna go to the Museum of Tolerance.

Don't fall asleep.

My family and golf.

One date. It was the '90s. We'd just lost Princess Di.

The way he sat there chewing his food like an idiot.